Confidence is something that a lot of people would like to portray as they walk down the street, however sometimes feeling confident is something that can be incredibly difficult to achieve. In both personal and professional environments, confidence is a very attractive and approachable trait, therefore working towards the appearance of confidence and strong self esteem is important and sometimes essential.
Showing others that you are confident is desired however feeling confident in your own skin is one of the most important things as it can control your body language, actions, appearance and how others visualise you as a person. Although shyness can sometimes be considered endearing, maintaining an air of confidence will improve the way you are perceived as well as your own self worth. Shown below are some methods to improving your confidence and your own way of thinking towards yourself and your actions.
- Stay away from negativity:
Both negativity and positivity manifest, by changing your negative thoughts and thinking in a more appreciative and light hearted manner, the negative areas of your mind will be visualised in a different light and can be resolved in a more positive and effective way. if your mind is more open to positivity, your confidence will become more open to change.
- Change your body language:
Your body language shows others how you are feeling, if you are feeling insecure then you are most likely to slouch, cross your arms, bite your nails and avoid eye contact. Change this! Stand tall, hold your head high. If this is difficult for you then try the Power Pose, stand straight, hold your arms out and make yourself as tall and wide as you can, combat the space that you are in and visualise yourself as a strong being. This will greatly improve your confidence as this technique has shown some promising results when people have Power Posed before an important meeting or interview to build confidence. Finally, smile more. Smiling makes you look more approachable as well as helping to improve your own mood because when you smile you will begin to feel more positive which will cause your mind to become more open to positive thoughts and compliments from others which could greatly improve your own sense of self.
- Never accept failure:
Doing bad at something is not a failure, it is a starting point towards developing a new skill or understanding. If you feel as though you have failed at somethings it can seriously damage your confidence, therefore you should never believe that you have failed and instead see it as a learning curve and move on. The only true failure is giving up.
- Look at what you have achieved:
Reflect back on what you have achieved in your life, focus on the positives and the moments that have defined your personality. Your achievements have moulded you as a person and should be worn as a badge of honour. By looking back to your achievements you can consider what lead to those great moments and this can motivate you to work harder towards similar goals in the future. Showing initiative and motivation shows others that you are confident in your abilities which in turn allows for you to understand your own competence and compliment yourself on your hard work.
- Think about what is important to you:
Focus on what you want to achieve, what will your self confidence work towards? How are you going to apply the new found confidence to your life, both professional and personal? If you know what is important to you then you will have more motivation to build confidence and achieve a goal.
- Get to know yourself:
Think about who you really are, reflect on what you have done in your life and consider where you want to be in the future. Once you know who you are, you can work towards self improvement and inner confidence. Knowing yourself allows for you to open yourself up to others as well as show others that you are confident in your own skin.
- Groom yourself:
Spend time on yourself, even if this is giving yourself some time in the evening to have a calming bath or do something else that relaxes you. Focus on making yourself feel better, both mindset and physical. Also dress to impress, wear items of clothing that you know you feel good in because when you feel good it will show. Change your grooming habits until you have found something that you are comfortable with and makes you feel more confident.
- Be kind and generous:
Confidence isn't just about looking after yourself, it is about looking after others as well, being kind towards other shows that you are compassionate and well mannered which are positive traits of confident people, also the generosity and complimentary behaviour allows for the fine line between confidence and arrogance to not be crossed. Being kind and complimenting others also improves social skills that can be utilised in everyday life. By showing that you are able to be kind to others, you are opening yourself up to demonstrations of kindness from others.
- Changing a habit can be difficult. Instead, replace it with a new one:
Changing something as small as a habit can be very difficult however the feeling of confidence you have after shaking a bad habit can be great for your self esteem. Nail biting can be considered a type of body language that shows shyness and insecurities, if you work towards introducing a new positive habit i.e instead of nail biting you could breath deeply and calmly for a few moments, practice this for 21 days and it becomes a new habit replacing nail biting with calmness. You will appear much more confident and put together.
- Complete a task you have been avoiding:
Procrastination is very common, especially when it comes to a task that you are not particularly looking forward to completing, work to complete this task, focus all of your energy on finishing what you started because this will build your confidence. One of the best feelings is the relief after finishing something of importance. By completing tasks that you initially wanted to avoid, no matter how small, you will feel this sense of relief and pride in yourself.
- Focus on solutions:
Similar to the first point about negativity and positivity, you need to focus on the solutions, not the problem. When you focus on a problem, that becomes the main thought in your mind, however if you are able to simply work on a solution, no marker how small, you will be able to efficiently solve the problem that you are facing and move onto other tasks, without this stress you can appear more confident. For more information about shifting focus and positive thinking please refer to the previous blog post about decluttering the mind.
- Challenge yourself to do something you have always wanted to do:
Set a goal and work towards it, even if it is something that you never thought you could do. Challenging yourself is a great way to build confidence as it causes you to prove to yourself that you can do something that you never thought you would achieve, this achievement will bring you more self worth and help you look at yourself as a more strong and independent person that can complete tasks that were once unimaginable to you.
- Empower yourself with knowledge:
You never stop learning. Education can be a brilliant method for building confidence as you are able to develop a strong understanding of a subject from scratch, this development of knowledge will slowly build your self esteem because you will begin to feel more confident in your own capability of learning and therefore more confident in yourself.
- Be assertive:
Do not let yourself fade into the background, you need to speak up! Be more assertive and show others that you are capable. By speaking up about your feelings and opinions you can become more confident with social interactions and appear to others that you are strong, to some this could be intimidating however pairing this with the generosity and complimentary behaviour you will not be considered unapproachable or arrogant. Practice speaking up, consider the language that you use, look at your body language and you will succeed.
Practice is key, focus on repeating these steps during your everyday life until you find the points that best work with your personality. Reflect on your actions and resolve issues efficiently, by doing this you will definitely build confidence and show others that you are completely capable. Practice makes perfect, trust in your decisions and prove to yourself that you can do this.
Finally, it is important to show others that you are confident however more importantly you should feel confident in yourself, know that you are capable of achieving more, know that you can trust in the decisions that you have made and understand that you are competent. By remembering all of this you will be able to reflect on your own behaviour and personality and work towards a better (and much more confident) version of yourself.